Leslie's Personal Walk
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It has been my practice for several months now to go out and watch the sunrise in my front yard. I have a beautiful view, and it is very picturesque to watch it come up with palm cypress trees in the foreground.
I go out to watch because I feel like it is better than the best movie. Every day it is different, and every day I sense God's presence in a new and tangible way.
My favorite color is pink. And most every day, in my front yard here in sunny south Florida, I am surrounded in pink sky. As the pink hues of sunrise envelope my little world, I come face to face with the reality that I am loved so deeply by my creator, the God of the universe. I truly, with all my heart believe he creates these beautiful "skyscapes" just for me. Really. Because he can, and because he loves to show me just how much he loves me. I just have to get up in the morning and look for it.
Anyway, the last two weeks have been particularly difficult ones, because of a family situation that is vastly painful beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I have been grappling with it and trying to see God's plan in it, but it has been so hard. And it has been rainy here, so the sunrises have been non- existent. They have really mirrored my emotions. Gray, and seemingly shrouded in sadness. Sometimes, it seemed that God himself was weeping along with me. Which is a great comfort to think that my sadness of heart could touch the heart of God. After all, what is happening in my family saddens his heart too. And the hard part is that I am helpless in this situation. I must sit back and watch it all unfold.
But God has been faithful in reminding me that I am not without hope. Especially this morning.
I awoke early and went outside, where the sunrise was just beginning. It was beautiful beyond words today. Pink was all around, and as I looked straight up, there were a few puffy lower level clouds that were pink. They were right over head. And as my eyes traveled around the sky, the entire horizon to my left and to my right turned a subtle pink. And I looked behind, and it turned pink, too. So I looked back up at the clouds overhead, and they had formed a circle of pink-ness.
And thats when it hit me.
God was surrounding me.
As I watched, He was engulfing me in his presence and telling me, "You may not see me working, but I got this. You just need to rest and remain in me. See, I go before you, and I guard you on your left, and on your right. I have set my rear guard behind you, and I have covered your head. Don't worry, child. I am in The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I see, I know, and I AM."
I stood there, worshipping him with a grateful heart. And as I looked around, the sun was again covered by the clouds. And the sunrise, a brief interlude today, was over. The cloud cover blotted it out, and soon, it will begin to rain again today.
But that's ok, because God showed up today, big time. And my joy cup is filled to the brim and overflowing because He came to me in my sadness and met me there. He lifted my spirit in the way that only he can. And although my heart is still sad and hurting beyond words, I am no longer overwhelmed by it. He lifted my head above the waters that were threatening to drown me, and breathed his breath into my lungs. And my strength is renewed. My hope is shored up again. And I can go on with great joy, because he loves me.
The song on my heart today as I woke fit this, too. It was one the worship team sang this weekend at church. An old one, that I am sure now that was chosen to strengthen and encourage me this week.
Wow, God. You really want me to get this message today.
Strength will rise when we wait upon the Lord.
We will wait upon you Lord. We will wait upon you Lord.
Our God, will reign forever.
Our Hope. Our Strong Deliverer.
You are the Everlasting God. The Everlasting God.
You do not fail, You won't grow weary.
You're the defender of the weak. You comfort those in need.
You lift us up on wings like eagles.
Thanks, God. I am humbled and amazed yet again. I love you, too. And I will hope in you all the day long. I trust you.